叙述角度
从一位无所不知的叙事者角度来写文案(第三人称)。尽管有时候第二人称是不可避免的,最好的语气还是第三人称、无所不知的叙事者。卖点、信息和幽默都能在这种语气里变得更强烈。当介绍某些无情感色彩的事情时(虚构历史、混合的隐喻),不要对读者挤眉弄眼的来让他们明白这个笑话。不要用引号,双引号或者其他叙述工具来把包袱抖出来。用绝对权威的预期来把你的无知讲出来。把它声明为一个事实。就是这样让读者感到惊奇的。如果你把笑话平铺直叙的讲出来,尽管是通过一种狡猾的方式,也会破坏了其惊奇感。把你想象成为一位客观、自信,尽管完全不能胜任和经常性无知无识得人,在未被邀请的情况下闯入到一群人中去发表演讲。
不要使用第一人称。唯一很少的例外是,当我们想要把某项交易的非同凡响之处明确的指出来……如果我们不能获得人们的特别关注,那它不会产生很好的客户反应。例如(来自Chptole的只有7天有效期和非传统式折扣结构的交易):我们注意到这次团购只有一个很短的有效期,而且五折优惠券并不是Groupon的常见团购,但这是Chipotl墨西哥玉米煎饼啊,所以我们认为这次团购是非常合算的,千万不要错过。
尽量少的使用第二人称。有时候使用第二人称是很容易避免的,有时候这是非常有用的(例如,团购中的句子)。如果你用第二人称来写一句话,然后发现可以容易的把“你们”和“你们的”去掉,并且不必用被动语法,读上去也很自然,那就这样写吧。当你使用第二人称,一定要把它读出来。使用连续的句子,一定要让读者感觉舒服。
在清楚地描述客户体验会是什么样时,第二人称通常很有用,尤其是复杂的团购。(例:室内肖像冲印出来后,你可以在6种不同打印尺寸中进行选择来组合和匹配不同的姿势。)当第二人称被用在更具创新性的情景中,并且还假装跟读者很熟络的话,这听上去会像传统营销文案。不要假设你跟读者很熟络。例如,Groupon Voice一次高尔夫团购中的反例:来吧。成为泰格伍兹。——尽管这会更有趣一些,但你并没有跟读者达到一种足够熟悉的程度,他们多半是不会对这个文案作出回应的。你不是读者的亲密好友。
最小化使用第二人称的一种方式,是把团购提供商及其员工当做句子中的主语,而不是把客户当做主语。例子:
把客户当做主语:对你的姿势进行评估后,你的治疗将会开始。
把医师当做主语,依然使用“你”:雷纳德医生在评估你的姿势后,开始进行治疗。
把医师当做主语,避免使用“你”:雷纳德医生在评估每位病人的姿势后,开始进行治疗。
根据情境,这些用法都是可用的,但你要尽量减少第二人称的使用,只有在确定能清晰阐述客户体验时才使用第二人称,不要把客户作为主语来写,能让你文案写作前就能避免,而不是在编辑时再去修改。改变主语还会让你的文案结构发生变化,恰当的使用第二人称将会让这些句子区分开。
Narrative Point of View
Write as the omniscient narrator (3rd person). While using the 2nd person is sometimes unavoidable, the preferred voice you should aim for is the 3rd person, omniscient narrator. Selling points, information, and humor are all usually stronger in this voice. When introducing something nonsensical (fake history, mixed metaphors), don’t wink at the reader to let them in on the joke. Don’t call it out with quotes, parenthesis, or any other narrative device. Speak your ignorance with total authority. Assert it as fact. This is how you can surprise the reader. If you call out your joke, even in a subtle way, it spoils the surprise. Think of yourself as an objective, confident, albeit totally unqualified and frequently blatantly ignorant voice speaking at a panel you shouldn’t have been invited to.
Don’t use the first person. The only fringe exception is if we want to call out something very extraordinary about a deal…where if we didn’t call special attention to it it could create undesirable customer reactions. Any instance where you feel the first person might be called for, please check in with Aaron first.
Example (from a Chipotle deal with only a 7-day expiration and untraditional discount structure): We realize this is a short expiration window and that a half-off coupon is not a traditional Groupon offer, but since it involves Chipotle burritos, we figured it was just too good of a deal to pass up.
Minimize the use of the 2nd person. Sometimes using the 2nd person is easily avoidable, and sometimes it’s highly useful (ex: the deal sentence). If you write a sentence in the 2nd person, and then discover that you could just as easily remove the "you’s" and "your’s" without using the passive voice and it still reads naturally, do that. When you do use the 2nd person, make sure to spread it out. Consecutive sentences specifically addressing the reader generally feel grating.
The 2nd person is often very useful for clearly describing what the customer’s experience will be like, especially for complicated deals. (EX: After your studio portraits are developed, you’ll have the option to mix and match your different poses and choose between 6 different print options.). It’s when the 2nd person is used in a more creative context and with a voice that assumes too much familiarity with the reader that it can sound like traditional marketing copy. Don’t assume familiarity with the reader. Example of Groupon Voice violation from a golf deal:
Go ahead. Be a Tiger. – Even if this were funnier than it is, you haven’t earned that level of intimacy with the reader, and they’re likely to not respond to it. You are not the reader’s pal.
One way to help minimize overusing the 2nd person is to think about using the business and it’s staff as the subjects of your sentences, as opposed to the customer. Example:
Customer as subject: You’ll begin your treatment with an assessment of your posture.
Practitioner as subject, still using "you": Dr. Ronald begins your treatment by assessing your posture.
Practitioner as subject, avoiding "you": Dr. Ronald begins treating each patient by assessing their posture.
Depending on the context, any of these may be preferable, but since you should be striving to minimize the 2nd person and use "you" only when it really helps clarify the customer experience, using subjects other than the customer should help create you do that proactively instead of during editing. Varying your subjects also makes it more likely you’ll end up with varied sentence structures, and with uses of the 2nd person appropriately distanced from each other.